Tally Ho

All parents must worry about doing the best for their children,i always felt so guilty that I couldn,t offer you the same wonderful experiences and opportunities I had. When you were very small,you would come down with Dad and totter about as I tacked up and went riding.At 2 you could just about sit up without sliding off and you had to be led about before I could go off.On my return you,d happily walk underneath them,get swished in the face my muddy tails and helpfully drag the saddle on the ground "helping"me clean.I dont know about nature/nurture,but you evidently were extremely confident and very keen to ride.When we let you have a pony to ride properly and not just in an arena was a day we,ll never forget. For some reason your Dad just didn,t have the same confidence and kept either being bitten or leaving his feet somewhere to get trodden on.Any way you tacked by yourself ,sort of and mounted up ,we were going out together for our 1st ever hack,I was thrilled and very proud.You allowed Dad to lead you out of the courtyard just until we,d cleared the cars and through the gate,we agreed to escort you to the safety of the paddocks and to the big fields. So far so good,for the 1st minute or so you did very well and did as you were told,but like your Mum you dont have 2nd gear.I saw you give that crafty wack and all of a sudden you were a grey streak ,your Dad nearly fainted and I called out and took off after you. You called out "its ok i,ll hold on",I never saw your Dad run so fast in my life.Eventually the field ends with a big gate,which leads off to the highway. Within a few moments that lasted forever I caught up with you and grabbed the bridle and we slid to a halt and then you promptly fell off.Dad picked you up made sure you were ok and then smacked your backside,out of sheer shock. Your little face was flushed with adenalin and the sheer joy of it ,you never looked back

Accidental Parent 5 Wedding Day

Not many kids get to attend their parents wedding ,you did and you behaved beautifully.Dad and I hadn,t really thought about getting married,once you decided you were coming into the world and a great deal of input from both sets of grand parents it was no longer an option ,we had to.
Apparently all little girls dream of their futures and it always includes The Big White Wedding,complete with the meringue dress and lots of bridesmaids.I can honestly say that i never did,which was just as well.
We were going to wait until after you where here,no hurry whenever.Something happened over the weekend and strangely my traditional,normal upbringing kicked in and became suddenly it became important to me that your mum and dad where married before you arrived.
We chatted to Nan on Monday and it snowballed.On Tuesday dad got the licence or what ever and we were going to do it on the Saturday,crikey.
I cant explain my feelings with my dad at the time, i left a message on his answer machine giving the details,knowing he was in Italy and wouldn,t get it until he return after the following weekend.
Fortunately ,my mum was in UK,Nici had just had your cousin Alex so she was going to be here
and so was Nici and that was all there was of my family.
You have to remember we were young,skint,but quite happy,it was a quarter of a century ago!!!
During the week i got my "outfit"from Chelsea Girl with a £100 instant credit .just a simple white skirt and top,which still looks ok and hasn,t dated ......sorted.
On the day everyone turned up at our flat,it was a lovely day and was actually quite exciting and oddly very relaxed.Dad went off with Grandad to do whatever and get out the way. I later found out they got the ring on Grandads credit card ,we,d both completely forgot about getting one. I later found out they went to the pub and played pool. Grandad did ask if dad was sure what he was doing and i was told all this later,that dad really had no doubt at all,just as well really.
We turned turned up at the romantic venue of Hammersmith register office and all went on in a kind of blur.Afterwards it was straight off to the White Lion on the river and had a lovely lunch. I t was all so simple but lovely eventually we went back to ours "oh my god".
Whilst we were out a pan of oil had smouldered and i came back to a ruined flat with black oil on every wall,in drawers the beautful room size rugs that i,d bought with my motorbike insurance. i promptly burst into tears.I,d only been married a few hours but felt doomed

Accidental Parent 3

So darling its we 3,dad was really cool and together and he said honestly it was great with him and am i really sure.I can tell you this as you are here.I did panic up to now never had to make a decision of any consequence ,life had been very sweet and blissfully naive.There was not for a nano second of doubt about dad,i knew he,d be brilliant,there was however the problem of telling my dad.It was the hardest thing i ever did and being gutless i did it through a 3rd party,my sister Nici.,next was Grandma.Fortunately they were living in Saudi at the time,so i knew she wasn,t able to drop every thing and fly back.So the jungle drums reverberated around the globe,next was Nan and G,dad.fortunately they were like their son and simply brilliant.You were on your way.

We were living in Hammersmith West London at the time and i was able to simply grow and get on with it.We had a little flat and when i wasnt fretting about my dad was genuinely quite happy.No dodgy tastes although did like a small Guinness.You were due end of December,so we spent Christmas Day and the next 2 days at Nan and G,dads .Oddly on the morning of 27th i had overwhelming craving for Gin and Tonic with lemon which i ate.I,d abstained booze since summer and everyone found it very amusing,i, couldn,t face Christmas dinner ,you,d developed a neat trick of sticking your feet under my ribs every meal time so always bloated and what with somersaulting on my bladder,constantly needed to pee, thanks.Any way it was time to go home and i couldn,t way to go.Living in central London we didn,t have a car and it was to be direct home on Piccadilly line.All was dandy till i literally took my seat on the tube.Something really peculiar occured a most strange sensation,never experienced it before,didnt need to to know that i had gone into labour.

Oh My God,i cant remember the rest of journey ,but we made it home,called the hospital ,who said to make our own way in ,no hurry 1st births take forever....yeah right.you arrived at 1.58am.we said hello.i went to sleep and dad stayed allnight till they kicked him out to get some sleep, day1.

Accidental Parent 2

So at that point it was just you and and I who knew of your existance,next we had to tell Dad. Typical he was working at Grandads and wasn,t due home for another 48 hrs. For a while I resolved to wait till he got back,I mean its not something you blurt out over the phone.Setting fire to the kitchen is one thing but to announce imminent fatherhood is quite another,besides i wanted to make sure he came back !.

Oh My God, the parents,i had to tell my mum and dad,you,ve met them so you can imagine the sheer dread of the bomb that was about to detonate over their heads.That thought made my resolve crumble, I needed dad ,so I phoned him. I was going to be calm and merely state the facts and give him the time alone to absorb the news.The time from the discovery and then making the call was about 6 minutes.Poor dad,he was able to understand the gist of what i was saying before i collapsed in an hysterical mess.He was home within 2hrs and the moment he walked in the door ,everything was going to be ok.

Accidental Parent 1

Conversations i never had ,but will tell you one day. 1.

Did i ever tell you about the day i first met you,probably not as it was quite a shock..As you know at 20 i wasn,t a street savy girl.I grew up in the country and my only passion were my horses and later my motorbike.It was 18 i suddenly got an interest in dating and partying and i embraced both with a vengeance.At the time, Dad and I were just having fun,we,d just moved up to London and we had the world at our feet.Looking back ,the mistakes were classic.I had i thought a typical horse riders bum,i did lots of fad diets,even hospitalising myself when acid from too many pineapples ate my stomach lining and got quinsy,s and had to have my tonsils out.Any way it had obviously affected my cycle and one thing or another and i was pregnant.How i knew was actually catching my reflection and a noticable swelling ,then I replayed all the missed clues.It wasn,t hangover from the night before or the joint ,it was morning sickness that had caused the recent retching.I even remember thinking "How ever did this happen ", I was so stupid .

So darling you were on your way,...did i tell you i loved you ?